The Church of Hellcake

Questions & Answers

You will find the answers to all your questions here. The current status of this website is "still a draft".

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this a real church/religion?

Science can't disprove it, so it must be.

How do I become a member?

There are lots of ways. You can burn a church down. Fuck a hooker. Preach our gospel. Engage in bestality. The sky is the limit.

Do you have a brick-and-mortar Church or HQ?

Yes. Our HQ is a church/club/dungeon hybrid. But, unfortunately it doesn't actually exist.

You make fun of faith and believing in god, but isn't that exactly what this is?

This is because faith and religion is often at ends with critical thinking and science. At the end of that day is doesn't matter if a trans-dimensional being stole your socks, because even if it's true, you can't expect others to believe something that contradicts scientific investigation unless you can demonstrate it.

Infrequently Asked Questions

Where do we go when we die?

We? I don't know where you're going, but I am going to the VIP section in Hell.

Do you ever feel like existence is pointless?

Sometimes I wish I was dead. But then I realize... I've never done the world a favor, why start now?