The Church of Hellcake

The 7 Virtues, Vices, and Beautiful Sins

A proper cult preaches, virtues, vices, and sins. So here you go. If you can nail all the virtues then you'll likely live a good happy life, should I have put "live a good happy life" as a virtue? By the way, getting incredibly old is a vice. Your brain eventually gets shitty and forgets thing, and you have hard time walking and start shitting yourself. So don't be to hard on yourself, you're just an animal trying to learn how to fuck up less until you become a fucked up moosh of flesh and bone.

  • 7 Virtues
  • Critical Thinking.
  • Knowledge.
  • Humility.
  • Temperance.
  • Diligence.
  • Patience.
  • Health.
  • 7 Vices
  • Aggressive Stupidity.
  • Ignorance.
  • Superfluous Pride.
  • Gluttony.
  • Sloth.
  • Impatience.
  • Weakness.


The 7 Beautiful Sins

What cult would be complete without sins? Some of them are your Christian sins, but all of them are seen in a favorable light. You could even call it the 7 Cookies, since you're encouraged to partake.

  1. Lust: Sexual indulgeance. Flesh on flesh gratification.
  2. Controlled Self-Destruction: That line between productive and chaotic.
  3. Dark Arts: No magic required. Making sin and other dark themes sexy, loved, admired, etc.
  4. Temptation: Inviting others to engage in beautiful sin.
  5. Predation: This is the very core of our nature. Taking something from other life.
  6. Wrath: This is malice in terms of revenge. It is demanding an eye for an eye.
  7. Truth: Sometimes the truth itself is sin. Ignorance is bliss.